Work: September 2008 Archives

-This is real shit.
-This is good shit right?
-I mean bad shit.
-Bad shit, like the shit is bad?
-This is shit shit! The shit isn't worth shit! Anyone get caught on the street with this would get killed! This is real shit.

If you work in an office with many people, and you know that the company provides some drinking mugs and cutlery, here's how you can tell that you are allowed to take that bowl/mug/whatever:

1. If there are many identical ordinary, white mugs in the kitchen cupboard on your floor, then you might be allowed to use the mug. These belong to the company.
   
2. If these mugs mysteriously disappear after you leave for the day and return to the cupboard washed and clean, then you might be allowed to use that company mug. The company bought the dishwashers that you see in the kitchen, and the cleaning staff takes them from your desk at night and washes them for you. Paid for by the company.
   
3. If the mug or bowl looks in any way cool or interesting, ESPECIALLY if there is exactly one, then it probably isn't yours or the company's, so you should probably leave it alone.
4. If the bowl is a beautiful handmade bowl given to someone by their sister that they see once every few years and that lives in another country, then it is almost certainly unique, and not something that someone picked up as swag from say, a gaming conference that they went to, and not property of the company, and NOT FUCKING YOURS. So not only should you not use it without permission, you definitely do not have the right to FUCKING STEAL IT.

I think that these guidelines are pretty simple to follow, and result in fewer bad feelings and broken teeth, you fucking asshole. You know who I am talking about. If I ever see that bowl on your desk, you had better have a damn good explanation for it being there.