Work: January 2006 Archives

Yesterday I had lunch with a woman from work called Africa. We were discussing the job when she told me about some stupid thing they are doing there requiring all the employees to list off their personal objectives for the year and fill out some form or some such thing. In any case she had to waste her time doing a report. This woman works pretty hard. The Monday prior she was there until midnight, with only two hours off to eat and vote. She is up to her eyeballs in work given to her by her incredibly incompetent and ineffective boss (more on her later, perhaps) and yet she had a meeting to discuss this bullshit report at 1 pm. Why is it bullshit? Because her goals and duties are clearly set out for her anyway. There was to be no negotiation of these terms. They might as well have just told her that they wanted her to do X, Y and Z and that would be that. If Africa had a problem with it, they could discuss it then, or she could quit. And she has no problem quitting.

But the sun also rises, as they say.

Today was my last day at my company, but I want you all to understand that this is truly a good thing. It has been quite a while, months in fact, that I have not been particularly happy with my role and responsibilties. Things slipped and slipped until they could go no further. Letting me go was the right decision both for me and the company. I have no regrets. This allows me time to find something more suitable for this stage in my life. This currently is not something I expect to happen at this company. But I do expect good things to happen in 2006 career-wise. So don't worry about me, but if you want to worry about me, drop some money. Just use your Internet Email Money Transfer option. Just kidding, but not really.

As many people say when they leave a company, it was truly a pleasure working with and hanging out with all of you. I hope to do so again, but in a completely different role. Maybe as a project manager or something else, I don't know. So if you want to keep in touch, you can use this address. My cell phone number is still the one on the company directory. I hope that Queen Zeal's 2006 plan suits all of you better than it did me.

The above was an email I sent to certain staff members with whom I got along well. It went out about seven hours ago. My meeting HR was at 9:45. As soon as I saw her name appear on my phone, I knew. It was time. It just was. It doesn't feel the same as the first times. Those were layoffs. This time I was fired, although it was done in a very friendly way. Rick didn't really want to do it, but Queen Zeal forced his hand, and it was the right decision. Since I will be receiving EI, I will have time to do some real planning for a better future. No more inside sales jobs. I've pretty much had it with those. I hope that the next work I undertake will satisfy me for more than the novelty period.

I know that I've bitched and whined about work many times. This time it's a bit more serious.

I'm in sales, and being in sales means that you perform or die. The 2005 numbers are in, and my performance was worse than I thought it was. Q4 was just rotten. I could blame a number of in-work reasons, but the number one reason is that I don't want to do the job anymore. It's that simple. I can't stand to be in sales any longer, even if I am on a pretty good team, more or less. This will be my eighth year in the business. It's never been something I wanted to do. I've been trying to figure out exactly what it was I do want, and I am recently come up with something. But getting there is a completely different thing. There are actually two streams, although I am more than willing to entertain other possibilities.

The first is to become trained as a project manager. There happens to be a master's program offered locally that also gives you PMI certification at the same time. That's VERY strong. The problem is that I fucked around a lot in university and my marks are shit. Further, my work experience doesn't exactly help my situation; they want project managers to train as project managers. Very helpful.

The other main option is to do a program in interactive media at the Institut National Image et Son. The major video game makers, both locally and elsewhere, are apaprently VERY interested in graduates from the program. I went to an information session last month and enjoyed the work very much. If I could be a project manager there, or a producer or even a designer, that would pretty much change my life forever for the best. I would be very hopeful for the holy grail of a meaningful career. The problem is that erven though my chances of getting in are much better than for the master's, I can't pay for it. I would have to quit my job and then look for one upon graduation.

I had a brief discussion with my boss Rick about my situation. He knows that I am not all there. He offered me another position within the company, but I don't think that I really want it. I'll take it if I have to, but I can't see that doing me any good mentally in the long run. I was also going to apply for other positions within the company, but personality conflict would surely rule out anything good happening there even if I were miraculously hired.

So there I am. This isn't just winter blues. This just sucks.