As some of you might know, my friend Suj is a doctor. What you don't know is that he wrote his final final exams to become a full-fledged doctor. I was talking about this with procrasto when I was reminds that I need to see a urologist soon. I think that I am going for a vasectomy, but I'll grab as much information as I can before I do.
**Le PK** says:
Wow... that's a big decision...
JonasParker says:
It is, but a lack of decisiveness can lead to disaster.
JonasParker says:
Maybe I would change and become the greatest father ever, and love every minute of it, but the thing is that I like who I am, despite my faults. I don't want to change.
**Le PK** says:
Who you are now is not a father... Interesting and brave decision nevertheless. What I do know - or understand from new fathers is that it is a life-changing experience. The vast majority say it's a hugely positive...
JonasParker says:
Yeah, yeah, I know. But like I said, I don't want to change. I like myself the way I am. I like my life. And apparently not that many people can say that.
**Le PK** says:
Nope. I guess. But I look forward to the challenges and changes that come up... nothing stays the same...
JonasParker says:
Exaaaaactly.
**Le PK** says:
but you know that the changes and challenges will not involve children, which means it's not so much about your life, and more about children, no?
JonasParker says:
Thaaaat's right.
**Le PK** says:
Are you sure you've fully thought this through?? ;)
JonasParker says:
Heh. The truth is, I thought that I might change my mind. Someday. Like in five years. But then I thought long and hard about what would happen if Rose were pregnant now. I pretended that she announced that she was, in fact, pregnant. I had heart palpitations, sweats, shakes. At least seven of the whole nine.
Besides, an operation would be great for Rose, too. She already has a child, and she won't have to deal with birth control pills.
**Le PK** says:
Did you ask yourself why you went though those emotions?
JonasParker says:
I didn’t want to be parent in my situation. I don't want to be one of those people that have to lug around their children in the metro, have no money ever, blah, blah, blah. Let me ask you a general question: There seems to be such resistance to the idea of a person permanently rejecting the idea of becoming a parent. Is it really that awful a decision? I think it's pretty responsible, really, although some people would just call me weak and cowardly.
**Le PK** says:
Not an awful decision. A huge decision maybe... I always thought that we were all predisposed to at some point wanting to procreate. Also, my friend L (struggling actor) and his wife (unemployed) gave birth to their baby, but I've never seen them so bonded, happy and parental. For them it was never a question... I think it's a much more conscious decision to NOT have children then to have them if that makes sense...
JonasParker says:
Definitely. There are social drawbacks of not having kids. Friends become more and more distant and unavailable, so you hang out with people younger and younger. You may become so bored that a child would be welcome. Also, children can be effective shields against a partner that is being a jerk, or going through problems or whatever.
