Post hospital recovery: September 2007 Archives

Well, it's been a while since I have said anything. A few things have happened since I last blogged. One, I went to a retreat for cancer patients and survivors last weekend where I ended up being the only guy. Two, I since have pretty much lost my voice to a very bad cough caused by something that has to do with the operation. But last things last. Last night I was in more pain than I have ever been in my life.

As you know, I am supposed to be eating small portions about six times a day. But sometimes when you eat and it causes pain, you shy away from food. I think it's normal, even though it isn't good. This is what happened yesterday morning when I decided to eat some Quaker oats (apple and cinnamon). As a rule, I have this with milk and not water, but since milk and I haven't been getting along that well, I decided to use half milk and half water as some sort of compromise. We're talking half a CUP of milk. I might as well have had a litre. It was painful, but not that bad. I lay down for an hour or so, and then I was fine. But I didn't eat again until 9 pm.

This picture was taken last night around 8:30 pm (Click to enlarge. Warning: popup.) You can try to describe how I look in this picture. No matter what you describe, I'm sure it won't include words like "happy" or "healthy". In fact, I am neither in this picture. I am miserable these days, and this morning I figured out more precisely why. I am 173.5 pounds. I am not been this light since high school; not even my last year, but maybe my second-to-last year. (By the way, does anyone reading this have any familiarity with OACs, or Grade 13? 80s and 90s young Ontario, represent!)

As I type this, I feel nauseous. I really feel in danger of vomiting. I am trying to eat two packets of Quaker Oats. It's good, a little too sweet, though. I've eaten half of it so far. It doesn't look as though it will get finished, as much as I want to finish it. I feel weak and a little dizzy. I really need to keep this food down, not just because I need the nutrients, but because puking is very very bad for someone with innards like mine.

This morning I woke up at 5 am with major back pain. You see, I cannot lie all the way down because the bile and stomach acid will travel to places where they shouldn't. I don't have a valve to prevent this anymore, you see. I need lots and lots of pillows propping me up. I can't lie on my sides, either, because I am still sore. I actually did try to lie all the way down, which resulted in severe, groaning pain for several long minutes. Bad idea jeans.

Last Tuesday:

Since then I have gained about six pounds. I am coming back. By the way, these should be considered "before" pics. Give me a year and we'll see what I can do.

Feel like hell today. That is all. For the moment.

UPDATE: I have uploaded more photos from the hospital stay. Check them out here.

Actually, I've been back at home since late Thursday afternoon, but a problem with the Internet has prevented me from being online until now.

It is hard to express how much I appreciate how all of you have been during my hospital stay (which was harder than the pictures would suggest), but I will try.

Rose: I left you in charge in communications and I must say, that's one of the better decisions I have made lately. I won't forget how you deftly managed the email list and the blog during those ten days, and how you kept everyone in the loop.

But far more importantly, you kept my head above water. On those days and nights where I wasn't sure how I was going to make it to the next (with my mind intact, at least). You provided the right touch when I needed it, you said the right things, you encouraged me and loved me. Everything you did and continue to do had a love element to it that you don't find just anywhere. I hope that I can have half the strength you did when you face a similar hardship. I couldn't have done this without you.