Spoke with the oncologist today. They have decided to give me the FOLFIRI protocol, which is MUCH less brutal than the TCF protocol that I had before. Instead of spending the day in the hospital, I will spend 2 hours hooked up. Instead of a large fanny pack with 500 mL of 5FU over 5 days, I will have much less of it in a smaller non-mechanical delivery system (it's quite ingenious) over less than 2 days. I expect to be at work the whole time. One funny side effect is that men often lose their head hair, but not their facial hair. Maybe I sport a Shaft look. Or maybe I should not exacerbate the Mandingo stereotype, which is pretty much what Shaft does in my opinion.

I told the doctor and the nurse that since I am in much better mental and emotional condition that I could likely withstand a stronger protocol this time around. They decided to give me something moderate rather than extreme because I reacted so poorly last time around. I hope that they are not making a mistake by giving me something that is weak because I was such a baby last time. (Well, it WAS pretty fucking brutal. It was.) I don't see why we should prolong this any longer than it needs to be prolonged.

There is another patient about my age with the exact same situation. Same cancer, same surgery, same surgeon, same protocol. His mental space was apparently worse than mine. He is also saying that he doesn't think that he can continue with the chemotherapy. He's exactly where I was at the beginning of December, but there is a difference. He's had a very negative attitude throughout the whole ordeal. He also had some complications from surgery, but by and large, our experiences have been identical. I am told, though, that the difference between him and me is that my attitude has been, over all, much better than his, but specifically it's because he's never really lived on his own, nor was he raised to do this.

I find this interesting. Does this mean that those that left home earlier are generally better able to deal with adversity of pretty much any kind? I left home to go to university when I was 17 and have only lived at home during the summers between school years. Further, I instilled in myself the expectation that I would go to university and take care of my own affairs. Maybe I would be in the other guy's position now if things had been different. He's apparently more depressed and scared than I am. He's frightened, actually. I wish I could help him. There has been lots of talk about how coddled young people are. Maybe it's true. I mean, I suppose since everyone is going to university, they are living at home longer and longer, but what effect is this having?

On another, scarier front, it seems that my superpowers are quickly evaporating. Ugh...

I am looking to make some extra money on the side this year, and am open to different suggestions. If you have anything interesting, please let me know.

1 greenback = 1 loonie (Click image)

North American currency coming soon?

But of course I'm still in the ordinary mire of low cash flow and unemployment.

I bit the bullet and went to the unemployment office to verify what's really happening with this money I owe them. Turns out that my fears were not really necessary. First of all, the dates were from 2005, not 2006. Specifically, it was from when I started at my last company coming off my previous unemployment stint, not after I finished there to start this stint. And yes, I did make a mistake: I used the date of my first pay instead of my first day of employment. I don't know what I was thinking; it seemed to make sense at the time.

Furthermore, it's not $3000 that I owe. It's about $1650. And I probably will not have to pay this back until I am established in school or a job. And I can do that in installments. And the worst case scenario? If I don't take any classes for some reason, and I don't find work, then my benefits run until around Thanksgiving (mid-October here, for you Yankees). Now, chances are I won't be needing it that long one way or another (full-time students do not have the right to unemployment, for example).

Thinking about that makes me realize just how quantum life is. I am truly creating my future. The very near future is a jumble of possibilities, which only gets nailed down when T = 0. It's actually really something.

I still am going to require a job, though, because this unemplyment stuff just isn't cutting it, you know?

Yesterday I pulled out all the stops. I identified three places where I could possibly start working soon, all conveniently located in Old Montreal. I decided to give them all a visit to possibly set up an interview later this week or next.

This company actually makes video games, although it's unlikely that you've heard of any of them. They do stuff mainly on mobile devices and web sites. I sent my resume to a contact that I have there, a really nice guy. He sent it off to his boss, although they needed to know what I was looking for exactly, and what they had to offer. After walking and talking for a quarter of an hour or so, it seems as though the only fit would be for me to start as tech support making $25K a year. That would be the equivalent of going back in time seven years, but then again, if they call me, I really don't have many options open to me right now. He would push for this because it may help him get out of the job situation he is in right now, which would be him doing tech support and being the web master, all for $27K. It's the situation that I would want the least, but it's the one that I could leave the quickest.

Company #2

I stopped off at zura's company to discuss with her what I could do there. She set me up to talk to one of the principal sales engineers. It was a good conversation. He thought that I could be an intelligent person working on the sales team concentrating on the business intelligence market, although thinking about it now, I think I'd rather be on his team. It fits better with what I want to do in the future. I'll have to let him know this.