I was just thinking, for no particular reason, because I am so random, about a few incidents at my old job from 2004. There was this woman consultant working there that gave a couple of training sessions. I was absolutely blown away by her sheer competence in technical knowledge and especially communication, her confidence and her pure professionalism. She could put most Toastmasters to shame. I wished that all consultants and other employees could be more like her, especially myself. I expressed this to a couple of coworkers. I would say, "Wow, what a professional." You could say that I had a professional crush on her.
This got back to a couple of other employees, who complained to my (female) boss about inappropriate comments about female coworkers. Possibly because the professional comments weren't the only ones I made. Once in a while I might remark on what someone was wearing, saying that it looked great and wondering where I might find something like that for Rose. If it was a guy, I'd do the same thing except I might wonder where I could find something for me, obviously. In any case, I was very respectful no matter who I was dealing with. Regardless, I received two formal warnings about my comments. When I asked for examples of my inappropriate comments, the "professional" thing came up. Why is calling a woman a real pro an insult? Is it like calling a black man articulate, as though it were so unexpected? Or is there an underlying hidden meaning that I wasn't aware of? Perhaps people took it as me calling her a professional whore. Maybe, but it was never explained to me. No one ever came to me to discuss what I said. I never got the chance to defend myself or explain myself. And they cherry-picked incidents instead and looking at the way I also treated everyone, which was fair and with respect. None of the men considered that I was sexually harassing them when I said that I really liked their new shirt.
Another complaint was that I would not praise other women (specifically women) for their professional behaviour. The truth was, I would occasionally say that I liked what they did, but generally speaking, nothing they did was all that spectacular. Darlene the professional was simply much better than just about all of the men and women that worked there. So I wouldn't praise their worksite virtues because there wasn't that much to praise. The ones that complained about me were marketing women, the very marketing women that inspired me to write this hate-filled entry. I can't dismiss the possibility that Darlene was as good or better-looking (in one case MUCH better looking) than these marketing women, and that this caused some kind of bitterness. Or, if I were a man that appealed to them sexually, I strongly doubt that there would have been complaints.
So the idea was that I was a sexist pig. I can see how getting the shaft like I did might turn someone into a sexist pig if they weren't one before. I have not been confronted with allegations like these since that day, and I treat all men and women with the same respect.
