Where n is not a nice tiny integer, like 5. No, n is considerably larger than that. Large enough for its exact value to be insignificant. The PET scan that I had on Thursday, January 28 was my NINTH. Yes, I was surprised, too.

Comparison was made with the previous PET scan from November, 2009.

Since the previous study, this patient has been treated with chemotherapy with the last dose given apparently on January 15, 2010.

The current study shows multiple intense hypermetabolic foci scattered in the neck with a predominant involvement of the left upper and left lower regions, as well as in the left supraclavicular zones and less obvious hypermetabolic foci in the right upper neck are also noted.

...is more fun than you would think.

I never bothered to mention it before, but I kinda have to now, because I am looking for some feedback. On November 23, I was laid off on the 90th day of my 90-day probation. It sucked, but not that much. They graciously offered a little severance which they did not have to do, and this will serve me well through the holiday season. The reasons were mainly because the reason for my being hired in the first place no longer exist. I may have contributed to this, actually; I made a strong case for a key feature to not be included in my projects. But that's part of my job, and regardless of the results, I am glad I at least did that well.

As you all know, this hasn't been an easy fall. The health issues alone made things very challenging at work. Towards the end, I was missing work, missing sleep and looking like pure shit most of the time. My mind was foggy, I was depressed and part of me was wondering if I could even do my job adequately. I am sure that this was a part of their decision, and if so, I respect that. There wasn't much I could do about it.

Since November 23rd, I have been largely taking it easy and getting as much rest as I can get under the circumstances. My mind has expanded to take in more young adult cancer projects. I am more involved with Survive and Thrive Expeditions. I am seeing a therapist. And I started chemotherapy again, but in pill form. I have just begun the second 10-day round, and so far it's been a pretty positive experience.

So I keep busy. I am enjoying this time off. I feel as though I am healing slowly but surely. I don't feel nearly as desperate as I did before, although I have by no means thrown away my new perspective on time.

Here's the thing: I really REALLY think that I could get a new job very quickly. Here are the advantages:

Just a list of the chemo side effects and whether or not they happened after my first round of chemo.

• Nausea (not really)
  
• Loss of appetite/weight loss (quite minor)
  
• Taste alteration (no)
• Diarrhea (no)
• Constipation (not because of the chemo)
• Tiredness (fuck yes)
• White blood cell count drops/neutropenia (Probably. We'll see Monday when I have my blood test)
• Platelet counts drop. The guide says that I should avoid constipation. Yeah. (dunno)
  
• Mouth sores (nope)
• Hair loss (nope)

It's been a pretty good round. On top of this, the pills seem to be working: I now have almost complete motion with my head; the neck tumours have definitely shrunk. I don't really take pain killers anymore except for the odd Tylenol, and I have fewer problems sleeping at night, although back problems are still present when sleeping. I expect that the next round will take care of most of those problems, hopefully.

Mentally, I feel much better as well. Like most people, when not in pain, I feel more hopeful and can imagine better days ahead. That's where I am at right now. Better days, if only a couple.