I had my PET scan today to determine how much cancer is still in my body. I've had some back pain lately, likely due to yoga, which I will likely have to stop. This combined with the hard table you have to lie down on for 30 minutes left me feeling sore, tired and simply sad.
I am not sure what is wrong with me today, but these feelings of sadness and dissatisfaction won't go away easily, I think. This technically should be a time for optimism and hope, but it isn't at all. I think that the closer I get to the day of the results, which is next Thursday, the more that I am filled with a sense of dread.
But there is more than that. It's the dissatisfaction. What am I dissatisfied with? I know it has something to do with cancer, and it has nothing to do with those who have helped me. Maybe it's not dissatisfaction, but rather disappointment. All I know is that I am not very happy today, and the next couple of weeks don't look too great, either.
Maybe I just need to see more friends.
I am not sure what is wrong with me today, but these feelings of sadness and dissatisfaction won't go away easily, I think. This technically should be a time for optimism and hope, but it isn't at all. I think that the closer I get to the day of the results, which is next Thursday, the more that I am filled with a sense of dread.
But there is more than that. It's the dissatisfaction. What am I dissatisfied with? I know it has something to do with cancer, and it has nothing to do with those who have helped me. Maybe it's not dissatisfaction, but rather disappointment. All I know is that I am not very happy today, and the next couple of weeks don't look too great, either.
Maybe I just need to see more friends.
I'd say that's an excellent idea.
I second that. I came back from an evening out last night and all I could think was "friends are the best therapy".
I third those emotions...would you like a poutine with that (or some equivalent?)
Poutine is out of the question for now. Trying to eat my way to health. But a couple of pints shouldn't hurt...