It just hasn't been my summer so far. even though the war against the infected vein was won, the recovery was awful. I was pretty dozy at work the week I returned, and in retrospect, I probably shouldn't have bothered to even go. The following week I was back to form, but unfortunately I was only there for the first three days of that week. I think that I got some work done, though.
Here's where things start to go awry again. Last Thursday, August 2, I started my third and final round of chemo before surgery. It was more or less normal. Instead of a PICC line in my venously mangled left arm, they put one in my right arm. After all, it was to be the final treatment lasting only five days after which they would remove the line. However, on Sunday night I started feeling some discomfort in my right arm. Monday morning around 11 am, I decided to see what they could do at the hospital, although I didn't hold out much hope. I figured that I would be there a couple of hours, they would tell me that there wasn't much they could do (I was hoping maybe for an adjustment of the line) and I could go back to work and my Hamburger Helper which I had packed with me.
I was in emergency for 30 hours. During that time I learned that:
- I had another clot in the right arm, going—you guessed it—the entire length of the line. They tried to get me a room on the 17th floor, but I knew better. That evening I was put in an observation room, and that was the end of the perks.
- August 6 was a hospital holiday, so my usual oncology/hematology staff wasn't there.
- This third round of chemo, even after being delayed by two weeks, is simply kicking the shit out of me. Today at work I could barely think.
- Being separated from my magic mouthwash for those 30 hours (because I left everything at work) put me in full oral vaginitis mode. I am currently trying to beat back the infection. Eating and talking are a bit more challenging now. (By the way, I now apologize for making fun of you for your ailment. You know who you are. It still makes me laugh for some reason, though.)
- It doesn't matter if you eat cooked Hamburger Helper after three days if you already have <bitterness>gastro-e-fucking-sophageal cancer.</bitterness> I love that stuff.
Speaking of gastroesophageal cancer, I met a girl in emergency that hadn't eaten in three days. She was complaining of insane reflux and food wouldn't go down. Just the thought of eating it was repulsive to her at that point. Apparently she has an ulcer at the LES. Sound familiar? Here's the difference: she's 17, and has had problems for the past four years. And I thought that I was young to have problems there. The last I heard she was going in for a gastroscopy. I really hope things work out well for her.
I fully expected to be in the hospital until at least today, but in a surprise twist, I was released yesterday at five. It could have been a case of "There are no beds, so get this guy out of here. Make sure he takes his meds. Do some tests on Friday." I dunno, but I am glad to be out of there.
I went into work today for my last day before medical leave. The new PM actually had the nerve to make me do work today. I formally curse him. I packed up my stuff today, gathered the team around, made a little speech, shook some hands...and left. Some people said some really nice things today. I appreciate this more than I can say.
I woke Rose up today, and as penalty, I had to accompany her to lunch. I realized today that when she makes me leave the house against my will, it's not just because she wants company (despite my sickly protests), but because she wants to help me. I need sun, I need to move and get out of the house. It's the inertia that kills. Today I could not believe how hard it was to get up and leave the apartment. But I did it with her help. I watched her have lunch, then we went to our favourite tea salon for a couple of hours. It was a great afternoon. She deserves better than what I can offer these days.
Oh! I forgot to mention that I have a tentative surgery date: Monday August 27th. I'll tell you more about that later. Now it's back to Facebook Texas Holdem.
Oof, good to hear you're out and on medical leave. I'm glad Rose is forcing you to get out and enjoy the sun and teashops. This has been quite the ordeal (and still is), but for what it's worth, remember that you have the thoughts and support of many friends (the peeps at work are touchingly always concerned). We'll get through this.