Over at the other blog, I discussed happiness and the happiness formula. I have decided to evaluate how happy I am.
The research suggests that richer countries do tend to be happier than poor ones, but once you have a home, food and clothes, then extra money does not seem to make people much happier.
For me, this is kinda true. I have shelter, although not the best shelter. Christ, no. I have some clothes that I really like, and food isn't much of an issue, either. When I went to Cuba in February, I had just lost my job, but I went anyway. Why? It made me happy. I'm glad I went, and I will rememeber that trip for a long time. When I had more money, I can't say that I have been particularly happy. My friend Sébastien says that the less money he has, the more generous he is with it. I am not exactly the same, but I can relate to that.
I also agree with the adaptation to happiness theory, which explains why things that make us happy tend to have less of an effect as time passes. This is likely true for all things, although it's often cyclical, such as in relationships, hobbies and habits, good or bad.
First, family and friends are crucial - the wider and deeper the relationships with those around you the better.
I think I am doing fairly well here. Besides Rose, I know who makes me happy and who does not. My relationship with my family is good and is improving as I get older. Sometimes I feel happy thinking about all those people. They provide more than adequate social and emotional support for me. Now I don't know if having these relationships has warded off disease, or anything radical like that, but it wouldn't surprise me.
The third element is having goals embedded in your long term values that you're working for, but also that you find enjoyable. Psychologists argue that we need to find fulfilment through having goals that are interesting to work on and which use our strengths and abilities.
This is where I start to stumble a little. What kinds of long-term values are they talking about? Making a Islam a force to be reckoned with? Giving women the right to vote? Having a spouse and a house full of kids by age 28? I have recently started to embark on certain goals: making a career change, breaking into a different industry. This is so that I can stop living like a student and get my life and finances in order once and for all. Once that happens, I can have experiences like many other people that I know, chiefly, people that travel every year, and have a nice place to call home without feeling like the professional lie you've built up for years is about to come crashing down any day now. Maybe once I have tasted what I feel I have lacked in life, then I'll decide to become more traditional. I highly doubt this, but you never know. Maybe I am not stumbling in this regard after all. In fact, I think I'm all right. What about you?
It should be noted that that third element in the blockquote above could practically define Rose. This is what she has been striving for for most of her life: a meaningful place in this world where she can really use her talents. I think that this matters more to her thatn to anyone else I have met except perhaps Suj (who has realized a portion of that already). Hopefully this will be able to get to the next level this year. See this post if you want to help her reach her goals.
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