This is going to sound strange, but it's because my testicles feel tired. Really really tired. And not just by testes. The space where my vagina would be if I were a girl. Ummm, the perineum. It's fucking exhausted. Last weekend, I decided to give it a break, but of course, something happens.
I have a houseguest for the week. Someone with whom I have been intimate with off and on since May. It's the former secretary at my former place of employment. It's a little late in the day to get into my feelings for her, but I will say that she is extremely sweet, talented and fucking pretty. (You don't hear that much, do you? Fucking pretty. But she is. You'd agree if you saw her.)
She has an awful family. She is from a small city about an hour away. The place is full of bigots and other idiots. Her parents can't stand tha fact that she even knows me. They regularly ask her why she is hanging out with that nigger, and why a white man isn't "good enough" for her.
Last May, after the drama that caused her to leave Montreal (it involves a crazy ex), she realized that she was in a pretty bad place mentally, spiritually, emotionally and practically. It was a bad way to raise her daughter. Her ex (her daughter's father) has been asking for custody for three years and has proven his competence and love as a father. He has a house, a stable job and a wife. She did what a responsible woman in a bad situation would do and decided to give up custody of her three-year-old daughter to her ex. Her family, especially her 14-year-old sister, believe that she is the worst kind of person because she abandoned her child. Yeah, abandoned. If her brother had "abandoned" his child (no, he doesn't have one) they wouldn't have said a word. I may write more on this later. It's odd that they would say this, though. They hate her daughter. She's a burden and noisy. Her mother always yells at the child for no good reason. She just can't stand the child.
She is around 5'3", and approaching a normal weight. She gained 30 pounds from July 2001 to July 2002. This was due to the stress of her previous relationship. This isn't normal. She took steps to lose this weight, and is succeeding. She only has about 10 pounds to go. Yet still, even before she gained the weight, her parents would go on about her weight and basically say that she was unattractive, fat, whatever. They even said that, when making jokes about her relationship with me, that it's good that she is with me because black men like fat women.
So she had to leave Montreal for personal reasons, move into her parents basement who she doesn't like and who don't like her, get a crappy job and lose it because of some stupid mistake, and put up with her family calling her a loser. I can't believe that she hasn't completely lost it.
Well, she's going to show them. (Or maybe not. She has almost written off her family except her brother, who is actually kind to her.) She is moving back to Montreal in September to finish her degree. She only has two courses left; depression kicked her out of school. She'll have her own place, which she has never had. She will get a part-time job to finance her schooling. Afterwards she will get into a research position or start writing professionally. In any case, she will succeed. And the arrogant fuckers will probably take credit for raising such a good daughter.
However, last weekend I got a call. She asked me to put her up for a few days. It was the least I could do; I'd do more if I could. She had enough of those terrible people and had to get out. And out she got. She is spending this week trying to find an apartment that will let her move this weekend because her daughter is coming this weekend. I don't know if I want her little girl here; it will be weird. I think it will happen, though. I was shown home movies of the girl tonight. I guess that was to be a preview.
All this to say that this was the worst week for me to try to turn off my dick. The whole package is just so weak and tired. It needs a nice long vacation and it isn't getting one. What a summer.
