Pornography. What is porn? Call me desensitized, but unless it's hardcore, illegal or involving at least a full genital spread, then it's not porn. For the purposes of this essay I will concentrate on that which is marketed mainly to men. Playboy is NOT porn. Hustler is. Playboy isn't far from what they show or talk about in non-restricted men's and women's magazines. I'll talk about degrading women later.
(Edit: 6/8/04: Why DO they call it Maxim?)
So what's the big draw with porn? The women in porn (at least the good ones) are 1) hot; 2) love sex. Let's face it: if you start dating a woman and she agrees to have sex with you at some point, then it at least appears as though she might like you a little. The more they enjoy it, the more they enjoy you. But let's make something clear here: This is mainly about the sex. Having lots of good, interesting and enthusiastic sex. The VAST majority of men know the difference between real life and fantasy. When it comes to real women, almost all men would go for a real woman rather than some fucking tart.
The sex in our minds may be similar to what's on the screen, but when the woman in our fantasies is someone real to us (wives, girlfriends, the woman in the office next door, your sister's friend) then it often takes on a completely different dimension. Then there is more kissing, holding, loving. In a more advanced and personal fantasy you can imagine her smiling at you, and what her eyes are saying to you, and the happiness that lights up her face when you bring her the one present she has always wanted but never had. And you think about how she might feel towards you as a man, as a person, what she might feel when you are inside her.
But why do we want to SEE this sex with no point to it? For me, vulvas and naked breasts and mouths and asses are hot. I like to see these parts, especially in action. I just like to see it happen from angles that would be otherwise close to impossible if I were actually there doing it. Besides, these aren't real people, and I'm not actually in the room. They don't have feelings, really; on the screen they are just people performing sexual acts, much like "professional wrestlers" perform physical ones. It isn't real, so it's okay. JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT.
Of all the things I would consider as porn, let's look at some of the major categories:
- Anal sex: I think this is the single most popular theme in all of porn next to straight, normal sex. It may actually be more popular. There is often at least one anal penetration in most "mainstream" (I use that term very, uh, loosely) porn. What's the big deal? Men usually want to do this at least once. I think it is like jerking off: If a man says he doesn't do it, he's probably lying. If a man says he would never do it, he's probably lying. Just my opinion, though. Anal is a forbidden thing: chances are, your girlfriend wouldn't even consider it. But you know that it's so good, at least for you. It always amazes me how good some of them are at doing it. Maybe I will talk about real-life anal later.
- "Lesbians": Let's be clear here, I don't think that there are ANY lesbians in men’s porn, although there are many who only work with women. Many women in the industry are bisexual, but most of them just like to, or can tolerate fooling around with other women. When they say "lesbian" in a porn flick, take the term with a grain of salt. As far as the girl-girl thing, it doesn't normally do anything for me, but most men really like it. It probably has to do with them thinking that women like this have SO much pent-up sexual energy that they will do absolutely anything or anyone. They are kinky, willing. And if one hot woman is there doing something is a good thing, then two hot women doing things to each other is four times as good (y=x2).
- "Teens": Again, they really are at least eighteen. Some women can be made up to look almost any age. However, the sexual fantasy here is more insidious. For some, it takes them back to when they were 15 or so, and these girls represent what they couldn't have when they were young. To others, though, it is just a strong sexual attraction for girls around age 15. Youth is king, or queen, as it were. The men with these girls are 10, 15, 20 or as much as 40 years older. (Yes, this man is 62 years old. No sell-by date here.)
Big tits, cocksucking, cum-guzzling etc: I don't really think I need to explain anything here. I think that there are extremes and levels in all of porn. In particular there is the degradation. There is much to say here on this, I think.
Have you noticed how relatively mainstream BDSM is these days? Mainstream in the sense that you can talk about it in the mainstream and be seen as perfectly normal. There is a lot of degradation in BDSM, and in my opinion, that is what it is mainly about. Some degrading things in BDSM include being tied up, beaten, gagged, made to eat from a dog dish and being led around by a dog collar, calling him Master or her Mistress, simulated rape, role/gender switching and many other forms of humiliation. There is a sense of ownership, and a sense of being owned. A dominant partner seeks the pure thrill of having the fate of someone else in their hands completely. Their whims become reality through the other. The dom also gets off on "knowing" that deep down the sub loves and appreciates anything the dom does.
The sub might get off on having someone else lead them, the utter helplessness and servility being a turn-on in and of itself. In a way, a sub can experience greater freedom than the dom: freedom from self, actually. They are no longer responsible, so they are free to experience as much sensory stimulation as they can handle, which is usually a lot. The sub also has a special power; the final say.
The pornographic "money shot", possibly the largest on-screen innovation ever in porn, came about in the mid-late 70s, I think (not to say that people weren't doing it at home before then). To me, this is the dom side of the S/M game. There isn't pain, but it is a form of humiliation. I mean, really, how could a woman look good with nut juice all over their face? It's a little like pissing on someone, isn't it? But both partners are getting something out of it. Between willing partners, especially when they are lovers, men probably would see that as an extreme form of devotion. When a woman receives a cum shot anywhere on her body, she has accepted him completely. At least, that is how he feels, particularly in the minutes following it.
Bukkake is a word, supposedly Japanese, that describes a circle jerk of many men where instead of ejaculating on the floor, they ejaculate on the face of some woman. In the videos the woman always has Oriental features. There are a couple of things going on here: 1) the Asian fetish. I suspect that its roots are one part exotic and one part helpless-innocent-girl type thing, especially their high-pitched voices. 2) the dominance. “Take my fucking cum bitch,” taken to the extreme. She is nothing but a human sperm dumping ground. Something that is owned by marking her with sperm. Again, I see this as a fetish, and a safe one at that.
The problem with all this is that sometimes men actually believe that the one receiving their cum (or their cock, in any way) really is worthless. A fucking whore. The women are dehumanized for longer than they should be. Within certain contexts, though, it should be completely okay to dehumanize someone temporarily. These are games, sex games, after all. Sometimes you get the loony who doesn't quite grasp certain things, sometimes cultural teachings work against women. That doesn't mean that most men shouldn't have access to porn, though. The loonies and the cultural nimrods would have a poor view of women anyway. Similarly, most people understand that guns are dangerous in the wrong hands and take care to use them properly, but there will always be some who get it into their minds that they should have to right to shoot anyone they want. They are called Texans.
Don’t get me wrong, though. I definitely do not like everything there is in mainstream (legal) porn. Max Hardcore is a fucking repulsive wretch. He is vile, and easily the most offensive pile of crap I have ever seen. He routinely calls the girls (they are always portrayed as girls, never women) things such as “cunt”, “whore” and “useless”. He makes them lick his ass, not because he likes it, but because it is demeaning to them. The way he abuses their bodies, I can’t help but think he is more kind to his blowup dolls. He plays the “dirty old man” role far too well. And then there is the underground porn that sometimes finds its way to the mainstream. Kiddie porn, animal porn, coprophilia, necrophilia, etc. are now more available than ever. I don’t think I need to go into how I feel about that.
An aside, bestiality seems to be becoming mainstream within the Internet porn community. It’s always there, so easy to find. If you were to go to some porn portal, there would almost certainly be a bestiality section. Women with dogs, horses, you name it. I guess the draw is the demeaning aspect. She’s so worthless that she’ll even fuck a dog if you tell her to. I can’t help to think that these women truly like it, and don’t care who knows. It’s hard to imagine a woman who didn’t like it doing it for even a good amount of money. And the animals? I do not believe that they are being harmed at all, but then again I am not an animal lover. These male animals are probably happier about fucking human females than a horny nerd in the tenth grade. And the more human pussy they get, the more time they have before they are snipped.
Many people still say that porn in any form is demeaning to women. Many of them say that Playboy is porn. Yet when Playboy came to Montreal 3 weeks ago to choose women for the Girls of Canada issue, women flocked to try out. Whenever a strip joint opens up, there is never a shortage of dancers. Whenever Seymour Butts needs new butts, he just has to walk out 50 metres from his driveway and he’ll see more butts that he can film. In other words, it isn’t like men force women to perform these acts for them. Women want to do it, and they do it in droves. If you really want to stem the flow of porn, preach to the women, not the men. Men consume the product, enterprising men distribute the product, but women ARE the product. No product, no industry.
But what these people against porn do not understand is that most men seem to understand the difference between what’s on stage and on the screen and who they are friends with, or lovers with. Even if more women were like the ones on screen, do you really think that most men would pick them? I don’t think so. I think that men really want to be with the women they are with already, simply because they are real. Porn women are not real. Similarly, Hollywood actresses are not quite real. They are something else. Sandra Bullock had enormous appeal about 7 years ago because she actually seemed like someone normal women could be friends with and normal men could date without feeling completely out of their element. Most women in porn don’t fit that bill at all.
Some do. Three in particular that I wish would become even more mainstream (I mean mainstream mainstream) are Annie Sprinkle, Susie Bright (who has far, FAR more intelligent and accurate opinions on porn and its social ramifications than I will ever have) and Nina Hartley (the best butt in the biz). (Edit 6/8/04: Not least is Dr. Sharon Mitchell, president and founder of AIM). These are enterprising, attractive, intelligent, funny and sex-positive women that still know how to make people feel comfortable around them. Collectively they have been in the adult industry for about 50 years, I think. The links above don’t do these women justice, really. Do your own search on them and you’ll see what I mean, although you might get overrun with simply porn if you search for Nina. She still does the flicks, after all.
In conclusion, I would say that those who insist that porn degrades all women are actually right, if they believe that all women are cum-guzzling, mindless fools. These people would take away our right to experience vicariously the thrills and such of our own sexual interests. They would outlaw what people do in their own beds, or on their own computers. They would determine how, when and with whom we could have sex. They would require that we think of sex their way, and not make up our own minds. And I would have no choice but to oppose them.
"I may not agree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
~Voltaire
"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men."
~Abraham Lincoln
