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February 2, 2010 2:08 AM

Facing my Self

*WARNING* This entry is going to reveal some rather raw thoughts, and hopefully even a little emotion about how I really feel about myself as well as other people. They will offend some people, and I don't really know what to do about that other then apologize in advance. I am trying to change certain things, and will leave other things alone as I see fit. But I am laying some things bare right now. It's also a LONG entry.

I.

It started when I was on the river this past summer.

The trip was organized by Youth Dynamics Adventures, the expedition wing of Youth Dynamics ministries, therefore both the film crew and the guides were all young Christian Americans. However, they were not at all like the negative image that American Christians have in the media (particularly their older versions). These people were extremely supportive, positive, upbeat and not particularly proselytizing. Besides Mike and Bonnie Lang, the trip organizers, there was one guide in particular that really affected me.

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Posted by Alston on February 2, 2010 2:08 AM | 15 Comments | No TrackBacks

February 1, 2010 4:35 PM

Alston's Nth

Where n is not a nice tiny integer, like 5. No, n is considerably larger than that. Large enough for its exact value to be insignificant. The PET scan that I had on Thursday, January 28 was my NINTH. Yes, I was surprised, too.

Comparison was made with the previous PET scan from November, 2009.

Since the previous study, this patient has been treated with chemotherapy with the last dose given apparently on January 15, 2010.

The current study shows multiple intense hypermetabolic foci scattered in the neck with a predominant involvement of the left upper and left lower regions, as well as in the left supraclavicular zones and less obvious hypermetabolic foci in the right upper neck are also noted.
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Posted by Alston on February 1, 2010 4:35 PM | No Comments | No TrackBacks

January 16, 2010 7:55 PM

BMI bullshit

Silhouettes representing healthy, overweight, ...

Image via Wikipedia

Is BMI an accurate measure of anything? I read Marie-Jo's entry about her resolutions and the first of those was to have a BMI of 22. I am sure she has her reasons for losing 10 more pounds, but I have always been suspicious of that measure.

Many of you knew me BC (before cancer). I don't think I have ever really struck anyone as particularly overweight. When I was a happy 200 pounds, my BMI was 27.1. These days I can consider myself lucky if I can maintain 160 pounds, which gives me a BMI of 21.7. According to the BMI experts, I was overweight before, and am normal now. If you saw me now, you would know that that is crazy. I am an absolute rake now, and would LOVE to magically gain 25 pounds. In my case, it's considerably harder to do than the average person needing to lose 25 pounds. I am accepting donations of both pounds and kilograms.

If you do a little research on the BMI, you will find it full of limitations such as inaccuracies due to age, gender, level of fitness, even race and socioeconomic status. So should this be used as a general diagnostic tool for health? The way it is generally presented, I seriously doubt it. I mean, really, I have a normal weight and nothing to worry about? That's rich, cancer or no cancer.

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Posted by Alston on January 16, 2010 7:55 PM | 1 Comment | No TrackBacks

January 6, 2010 11:50 AM

Colonial mentality and me

I just finished reading a short article about colonial mentality in the Philippines and Latin America. Here's a passage:

The biased favouritism responsible for their overwhelming presence in film and television is deeply rooted on established Filipino "Ideals of Beauty" that are determine based on the possession of at least partial European ancestry, an ideal that stems from colonial concepts first introduced by over 300 years of Spanish colonial rule, then by a further generation of Anglo-American occupation.

I learned fairly early on a few things about my own ancestry compared to those of my peers that mainly revolved around limited access to information. First, I assumed that I was descended from slaves, and therefore any documentation about them would likely be non-existent; essentially limited to how much my parents knew about their own families. Second, it was obvious (to a young me) that I had some recent white ancestors (I'll post pics of my mother and brother at some point), so if I wanted any information beyond 2-3 generations, I would find it on that side. As a result, in later years, I believed that this, as well as with other reasons that deserve their own post, resulted in me placing slightly more value in my white ancestry than my black ancestry: I assumed that I would have more information about myself through them.
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Posted by Alston on January 6, 2010 11:50 AM | 2 Comments | No TrackBacks

January 4, 2010 11:41 PM

Pulling your hair out

...is more fun than you would think.
Hairless redux 1Hairless redux 2

Posted by Alston on January 4, 2010 11:41 PM | No Comments | No TrackBacks
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